ANGER
I don't think about anger very much. I do get angry. Mostly when I'm frustrated. I have three children (9,6, and 3 years old) and I've cracked a tooth by clenching my jaw too tightly when they didn't get in the car in a timely (to me) fashion, or get dressed, or listen to me. I don't understand where that anger comes from, well I do, but I don't understand the intensity of that anger.
Although if I think about the rest of my life, the little things that pile up like dirty clothes, I can see it. I am a very patient person. It usually takes a lot for me to get upset. And when I do, I don't know that I'm allowed to let anyone know. (More of that child energy, perhaps?)
When I was teaching, we had a set of questions to help our students get through situations that angered them: What? So What? Now what? My dad just reminded me of that little triplet, and it seems to help. It is fun to get angry at things that I have no control over (other drivers, for instance) but then I remember that I have others in the car with me at all times (the aforementioned kidlets) and what am I teaching them in that instance?
Recently (well, this year) I was able to follow through on my anger (a friend betrayed my trust, and I called her on it) and not be blaming or shrew-like and it felt good.
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And how do we deal when our anger is trivialized?
When I've picked up dirty laundry for the umpteenth time, or asked otherwise responsible and kind children to please put their markers away six times in a row, six days in a row, or asked that dirty dishes be put in the dishwasher, not left on the counter, and the family says okay, and then DH leans way over the open dishwasher and puts the dirty dish on the counter above it "so it would be easy for me to reach" -- and I finally lose it and they look at me like I'm nuts and say, "But cleaning the house is your job"?
NO I'M NOT ANGRY. NOT AT ALL. MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS NORMALLY 500/300. THAT ANEURYSM IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, REALLY.
Phew. Thank you. I feel better now!
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